†遥か彼方へあの約束を†


if you stretched out your hands towards a flickering face
and all you were able to feel was darkness
then turned around to plead the skies above you
for answers about unknown fears
yet everything there'd be to see
was a silvern mirror reflecting your dreams
don't close your eyes
to the truth
inside

~ Saturday, August 23 ~
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Anonymous said: What is the worst thing you think John Winchester ever did to his sons? Canonly speaking.

livebloggingmydescentintomadness:

Woo boy. Buckle up, kids.

Off the top of my head, whatever it was that John did to put this look on Dean’s face.

image

But if you want to talk canon specifics, let’s take a spin through my fuck john winchester tag. 

Okay, John was a child abuser. He was legally a child abuser for leaving his children alone the way the he did, when Dean was only 9 if not younger. He left his children alone in hotel rooms to fend for themselves for days at a time, sometimes without enough money for food.  This is child abuse. You cannot leave a 9 year old in charge of a 5 year old and expect him to take care of the boy like he was an adult.  Putting this kind of responsibility on a child is going to incur lifelong psychological damage.

I personally believe that John was physically abusive, especially to Dean, but I can’t prove that canonically beyond Sam calling John a mean drunk and the fact that violence is completely normalized between the brothers.  John was patently verbally and emotionally abusive to both Sam and Dean and I’m not even going to go find gifs of that because it’s in literally all their interactions.  Strong, brave Dean becomes passive and terrified in his father’s presence, and sweet, loving Sam becomes seething and full of rage.

Bottom line, the worst thing John ever did was putting the responsibility for Sam on Dean’s shoulders when he was too young to even take care of himself.  This is neglect, this is abuse, this is shirking all of his own duty to his children and then laying blame on Dean when he cannot live up to impossible standards.  But let’s go through some specifics.

How about when Dean was 16 and he lost their food money gambling (probably trying to get more food money), and so he ended up stealing peanut butter and bread - to survive and feed his little brother - and he got arrested?

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Can we just talk about how the only real chance at happiness and a normal life that Dean actually got was at a home for juvenile delinquents? I mean can we just talk about how fucked up that is?

How about what John was out doing while he was leaving the boys alone in motel rooms?

image

How about when Dean was dying and John literally wouldn’t pick up the phone much less show up?

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Or the other time Dean was dying and he didn’t care?

image

I could also throw in the fact that one of the biggest demons in hell actually made a better father than John.

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This is all absolutely canon, indisputable. But what I find incredibly revealing is the episode It’s a Terrible Life.  Here, Dean was raised by Bobby and Ellen, with Jo for a sister.  Dean Smith is basically a photo negative of Dean Winchester.

image

He eats salads, he does the Master Cleanse, he has an espresso machine, he drives a fucking Prius.  He’s a business man with fashionable clothes and an upscale apartment.  I mean, can you say metrosexual?

This Dean doesn’t overcompensate, he’s not macho or butch, he’s not one step away from alcoholism, he’s not a broke high school dropout.  He went to Stanford, and considering that Bobby and Ellen probably would not have had the money for that, we can hypothesize that he got in on scholarship.  He doesn’t drive his dad’s old car because it’s not the only home and security he’s known since he was four.  He also doesn’t appear to be a “ladies man”, as we never actually see him talking to a woman.  The only person he seems to be flirting with appears to be his assistant, whom he talks to about Project Runway.

image

This Dean could easily be openly bisexual, because he grew up in a loving and safe family.  This Dean embraced his education as well as his love of fashion, this Dean is successful and stylish.  We don’t know what’s going on in his personal life or if he’s happy, but he is plainly a normal, functional, stable human being.  This is who Dean would be if John wasn’t his father.

This is who Dean would be if John wasn’t his father. This is who Dean could have been if John had not turned him into Sam’s parent while depriving Dean of a parent himself, dragging him from place to place, isolating him, while turning him into a child soldier and a tool to further his quest for vengeance - and using him as an emotional if not physical punching bag.

He didn’t “try his best”.  Trying his best would be not chasing down the demon, would be giving his sons a home and a childhood.  Would have been at fucking least putting them in foster care instead of dragging them across the country with him.  He didn’t love them.  What he did is not love, it just fucking isn’t.  Whatever ‘love’ he had, it was twisted and selfish and damaging.  John did not love his sons, not the way I define love.

I literally, honestly don’t care that John traded his life for Dean’s in the end.  I mean, to say “too little too late” is a vivid understatement.  I don’t care what he said, I seriously, seriously don’t care what he said in that hospital scene.  I’ve never been physically abused, but my father did fuck up my head and my life pretty well, and he says all kinds of nice things trying to get me back on his side, and I don’t care about any of it.  All the “I’m proud of you”s in the world can’t change what you’ve done.  And really all John did then was heap more responsibility and guilt on Dean’s shoulders.

So basically - everything.  Everything John did to his sons was the worst.

Tags: holy fuck okay supernatural tl;dr story time
13,875 notes
reblogged via poeticallyhuman
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endreal:

miss-lol:

ruiningurtumblogs:

twilektimelord:

fororchestra:

adrianshhh:

image

Sometimes I think of how one tiny mutated cell can wipe out our whole civilization, but then I watch a video like this and think “nah, we’re way too awesome of a species to be defeated.”

I feel like my life is complete after watching this.

HOLY SHITTING CHRIST.HOW DOES HE MANAGE TO KEEP SUCH A GOOD TONE QUALITY. WHAT THE SHIT. I CAN’T. JUST.

Seriously, as somebody who is relatively good at the flute let me tell you that that is really fucking difficult. REALLY FUCKING DIFFICULT. That’s like the flautist’s equivalent of trying to talk normally whilst breathing in: it just isn’t doable. This guy is using some freaky fucking sorcery. As if that weren’t bad enough: HIS FINGERS ON THAT LAST BLOODY SCALE HOLY SHIT. HOW CAN YOU MOVE THAT FAST. I CAN’T EVEN DO F BLOODY MAJOR THAT FAST AND IT’S THE EASIEST BLOODY SCALE WE HAVE HOLY CHRIST.

The Pied Piper of Hamelin 2014

This is Greg Patillo, and if I’d known about him in high school I would almost certainly still be playing flute today. He’s INCREDIBLE at what he does.

(Source: adrians)

Tags: talent music holy fuck flute beatbox
204,537 notes
reblogged via endreal
~ Friday, August 1 ~
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Our experience at Dashcon 2014

mjhellscream:

I’ve been trying to decide whether or not I actually want to talk about our Dashcon experience.  If you know us IRL you’ll know that my wife and I recently went on a trip to Canada/Chicago purely to attend Dashcon.  And following what happened with the convention, I was in two minds.  Do we simply wash our hands of the whole situation, or do we talk about what happened?

Given that my wife received an anonymous message on her blog telling her to go and hang herself, I was leaning more toward the former.  I almost wanted to pretend like we were never there.  But after reading almost everything about the disaster, I think there are a couple of things that need to be said from our perspective.

Read More

Tags: holy fuck people dashcon may I repeat holy fucking shit story time
1,236 notes
reblogged via mjhellscream
~ Monday, June 30 ~
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artofthetitle:

A battle rages in elegant tableaux as the titles for Black Sails draw you into the deep.

Black Sails on Art of the Title


Tags: holy fuck oh my gods sailship sail boat art artwork what even is this beautiful things and stuff black sails
1,087 notes
reblogged via wildhaunt
~ Friday, June 27 ~
Permalink Tags: holy fuck photography inspiration surreal
28,520 notes
reblogged via poeticallyhuman
~ Friday, June 20 ~
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mindxcrash:

Take a look at all these tall-ass freaks.

Erwin Smith / Hanji Zoe / Levi

Photography: Milon Hall Photography

Tags: holy fuck cosplay shingeki no kyojin snk 進撃の巨人
16,536 notes
reblogged via mr-anxiety
~ Monday, April 28 ~
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mizbingley:

THIS OUTFIT IS ALL I EVER WANTED IN THIS WORLD FUCK

(Source: elegance-is-bliss)

Tags: holy fuck holy fucking hell yes please fashion
39,396 notes
reblogged via soft-leg
~ Thursday, February 6 ~
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mothernaturenetwork:

Ice orchestra performs in ‘gigantic cosmic igloo’
You know music is great when it gives you chills, and in the case of Ice Music, that’s meant quite literally.
 
Based in Luleå, Sweden, Ice Music is a frosty artistic project in which bundled up musicians celebrate the spirit of snowy Lapland winters by playing on instruments handcrafted from blocks of ice.

Do they slowly melt as you play

Tags: holy fuck ice sweden music instruments art neat badass
23,150 notes
reblogged via wildhaunt
~ Saturday, January 18 ~
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3-15am:

kelseyherbst:

Why are big time designers the only companies with perfect clothing. I don’t have 1mill to spend damn

Ugh, she’s a genius….

(Source: f-l-e-u-r-d-e-l-y-s)

Tags: holy fuck fashion black dress
24,358 notes
reblogged via soft-leg
~ Thursday, August 29 ~
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The Five Gods of Theros

  • Heliod, White God of the Sun
  • Erebos, Black God of the Dead
  • Nylea, Green Goddess of the Hunt
  • Thassa, Blue Goddess of the Sea
  • Nyx, Red Goddess of the Night Sky

(Source: aethyrknight)

Tags: illustration magic the gathering holy fuck I need to get back into this
2,512 notes
reblogged via millionmanmanor
~ Thursday, August 1 ~
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zelgiuschevaliernoir:

by ひでひこ(pixiv)

Awyeee fuck yes. You sexy, evil beast >D

zelgiuschevaliernoir:

by ひでひこ(pixiv)

Awyeee fuck yes. You sexy, evil beast >D

Tags: monster hunter nargacuga holy fuck yes baby let me hunt you
280 notes
reblogged via zelgiuschevaliernoir
~ Thursday, April 11 ~
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saintsatyr:

Dark Chocolate ice cream
and black satin robes
clean spoons and wood pews
and big dusty tomes 
hot priests together all tied up in strings 
these are a few of my favorite things… 

saintsatyr:

Dark Chocolate ice cream

and black satin robes

clean spoons and wood pews

and big dusty tomes 

hot priests together all tied up in strings 

these are a few of my favorite things… 

Tags: nice stuff chocoalte icecream holy fuck thanks I mean I've been craving icecream for days now hngh risshukun salivation is sacred ok
4 notes
reblogged via wildhaunt
~ Friday, April 5 ~
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funky-boy:

thisisyeti:

balphesian:

juliedillon:

Oh wow, I went on Android Jones’ site for the first time in a while, and he has this progress video up. This is crazy amazing, and so beyond what I can even comprehend doing with digital painting. Wow wow wow. 

What. the Fuck.

wat

my gods.

Tags: art dragon WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST WATCH holy fuck holy fucking crab on a stick this is too much to process ART video progress video
719 notes
reblogged via mr-anxiety