†遥か彼方へあの約束を†


if you stretched out your hands towards a flickering face
and all you were able to feel was darkness
then turned around to plead the skies above you
for answers about unknown fears
yet everything there'd be to see
was a silvern mirror reflecting your dreams
don't close your eyes
to the truth
inside

~ Sunday, August 31 ~
Permalink Tags: my life
~ Saturday, August 30 ~
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My friend’s cat though… 

I’m minding him while she’s with her family, and I’ll tell you as much, he’s such a psychotic creature, it’s tragic. I know this. I know he can be actually dangerous if you don’t take care, he’s even attacked his ‘mom’, my friend a few times. And by ‘attacked’ I don’t mean feet grab or things like those, no, fucking jumping at her jugular with all he’s got, only instinct helped her back then.

Anyway, I just got back, I feed him, he’s all yaaay I love you *purr purr rub rub*, you know, all that, *throws self on ground PET MEEEE* and I do for a while, then do my stuff, he follows me around still all normal.

Suddenly, he snaps, starts meowing and runs into the bathroom.

Still, fairly normal-crazy cat behaviour. 

I follow into the bathroom a little while later, about to do some bathroom business, standing in front of the sink, while he keeps meowing. I pet him, he licks my hand, I think, are you really in such a cute mood right now? He keeps licking my hand and arm, suddenly he tries biting, not the cute way though, the full on aggressive bite way, and I pull away, yell “NO” at him.

His eyes suddenly are the mad-cat eyes. You know, the eyes they have when they’re about to kill something. He keeps meowing. His whole body is tense. Staring at me, swaying some, as if unsure whether to just jump me or not.

I keep my hand up. I’m not gonna play this game. I’m not gonna back away either. I’m stronger than you, my muscles are tense, and I’ll grab you by the neck quicker than you can sever my hand, stop this.

We had a quiet, very weird exchange for a minute or two, fuck that tension, before he seemed to ease up some. I also let him smell my toothpaste. He didn’t like it. 

Maybe he “woke up” from that, I don’t know. 

He’s lying curled up behind me now.

Seriously.

Tags: my life cat cats psycho just shaking my head right now whatever was up with that as my life is threatened by a psychotic black cat
~ Friday, August 29 ~
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Do you know this moment when…

You come back home, earplugs in, and normally you’d stop the music and take out the plugs, but then such a good song is playing you just keep living it as you stand almost motionless, not getting done even half the things you usually do after coming back, and oh look the next song is amazing, too, where did the last twenty minutes go?

No?

Tags: my life this just happened with LOTUS on okay lets feed the cat ahaha
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~ Monday, August 25 ~
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Maybe that’s what I’m supposed to do

Sitting on the side-lines, watching everyone get their perfect lives, their perfect jobs, perfect partners, and move along, away, past whatever I am.

Right now all I can manage is a blank expression.

I can’t entirely cover up that feeling of some sort of grudge inside me. Not to myself at least. If that’s what I’m supposed to do, to just accept it, then I haven’t yet managed that. I’m struggling, hard, but I’m struggling on the inside only.

My outside, it looks on blankly, managing a smile here and there where it’s expected.

You know nothing, Jon Snow.

Tags: my life hah
~ Saturday, August 23 ~
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┻━┻ ︵ヽ(`Д´)ノ︵ ┻━┻

I’m so done with physical people these days. So done. I just… just no. All of them. Leave me alone. (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻ Leave me the fuck alone.

Thank you. Now, was that so hard?

Tags: irritated as fuck my life
~ Wednesday, August 20 ~
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Last night in London!

Good bye, you pretty, busy place ♥

Aahh, but I am looking forward to sleeping in a proper bed again. 

And I have to come again, as I entirely “forgot” to get my fish and chips *cry* I ended up getting food from Chinatown more than anything else ahaha, woops. Those pastries were too delicious, darn.

Tags: travels my life
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~ Tuesday, August 19 ~
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鬣犬様嗤

So what if I went mad at some point of imaginary time in the past?

So what.

Hnnnchchchchhhahahahah!

Tags: it's quite alright my life
~ Sunday, August 17 ~
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I think there’s a fox crying outside…

No stop, don’t cry!

Why are you crying!

STOP IT YOU”RE TEARING OUT MY HEART NOOO

Tags: my life such weird noises I don't even know wether it's a fox but what else could it be D:
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celluloidtoharddrives:

Waltz With Bashir (2008) Written and Directed by Ari Folman

I noticed that other people around me were making up memories when I was pretty young. Back then, my memory was flawless. Whatever I remembered, had happened exactly like that, same wording, same intonation. Other things I just didn’t remember, and never fabricated.

This was childhood and early teenager years. 

A few years later, I started noticing how memories just slipped, and how quick my tongue was turning maybes into definites, and changing the exact word order of what had been into an approximate content. I felt cheated. By life, by my memories, or by myself, I’m not sure. It made me highly aware of the change of something infallible into something fallible.

So I started to be very careful about how I remember things. And to consciously always make a difference between “distinctly remember” and “approximately remember, might have been slightly different.”

Tags: freaky things and stuff life memory my life I always need to be able to trust myself so I made it so that I can
163 notes
reblogged via poeticallyhuman
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>_O

So my friend has come back home, as I expected, no message prior to her coming back, and she hasn’t uttered a word to me yet. I’m counting about 20 minutes.

Are you adult.

Alright I’ll ride with this.

Tags: my life people gdi you're 20 years older than me aren't you why deep sigh it feels so odd when you feel you're mentally more grown up and responsible and TOGETHER than people much older than you
~ Friday, August 15 ~
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Glastonbury tomorrow ヽ(´ー`)ノ

My friend wants to leave at 7:30 in the morning though |D goodbye, sleep.

Tags: my life
~ Wednesday, August 13 ~
Permalink Tags: my life just don't look at my bank account no nono nonono aaaahaha musical wicked
~ Tuesday, August 12 ~
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Swatting at flies

Left and right, left and right.

I swat a little, glare at them for a moment, irritated,

and then I take up my journey,

and I walk alone, I walk alone.

Tags: my life fuck it do i really need all those mirrors do i I don't think so strutting on into glory strutting on into glory alone